How Anxiety Affects Women
When women seek advice and start therapy, they often say, "Lucia, I feel nervous. I don't feel like myself. My mind is racing, and my body feels weird. I don't know what to call them." These experiences show just how varied and complicated anxiety can be. It could appear at different times in our lives as professional anxiety, relationship anxiety, postpartum anxiety, pregnancy anxiety or anxiety during menopause. They all have one thing in common: They make you feel drained and exhausted.
Anxiety has a significant impact on women's mental health, affecting our overall well-being, daily functioning, and ability to maintain healthy relationships.
Anxiety is an Endless Stream of Worries.
You might say, "I feel like I'm losing my mind, or I don't have enough confidence. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time." Let me give you an example. The other night, I went to bed feeling exhausted after a very active day. Just when I thought I would finally sleep, my mind started bombarding me with catastrophic thoughts. I was surprised—why now when I'm trying to relax!
You might have experienced this, too. As you're about to sleep, your mind starts worrying: "What do I need to do tomorrow? What if the project I'm working on isn't good enough? What if it doesn't work out?" I remember planning a trip and thinking, "What if the plane crashes?" My body tensed up, and I couldn't sleep. The more I tried to ignore these thoughts, the more persistent they became. But why does this happen?
Believe it or not, We Need To Experience Anxiety.
Why do we experience anxiety? Surprisingly, it's essential to experience it. You might ask, "How is that possible, Lucia?" Let's dive into that.
To understand anxiety, consider our brain's evolution. Our brain's primary goal isn't to make us happy but to keep us safe. It constantly evaluates potential threats to avoid danger. Anxiety is our brain's way of prompting us to take action to feel secure. You've probably heard the term "fight or flight." When you feel anxious, your body reacts with cold hands, tense muscles, a racing heart, or digestive issues. These symptoms can make you feel overwhelmed and question your sanity.
Fear vs. Anxiety
High anxiety levels can lead to panic attacks, but let's focus on understanding anxiety. Anxiety is a response to potential future threats, while fear is a response to real-time dangers. For example, a zebra chased by a lion is in a fight-or-flight mode. Once the threat is gone, the zebra resumes its activities. Humans, however, continue worrying about potential future threats, leading to ongoing anxiety.
Modern-Day "Lions"
In modern life, especially for women, we face different "lions": the pressure to be perfect, work performance, financial worries, adapting to new environments, and maintaining relationships. These challenges trigger anxiety as our brain seeks safety. For instance, moving to a new location or job requires adaptation, which puts our brains in a heightened state of alertness, similar to being chased by a lion. So, whenever you try to have a difficult conversation or think about the mortgage, your relationship with your in-laws, or your performance at work, your brain perceives a lion chasing you.
Anxiety is not the Enemy.
Understanding that anxiety is a symptom, not the problem itself, is crucial. Just like a fever signals an underlying issue, anxiety signals that something needs attention. It's not about eliminating anxiety but managing it effectively.
Three Ways to Manage Anxiety:
Awareness: Recognize and name what you're feeling. Identify where and how you feel anxiety in your body.
Writing It Down: Journal your thoughts to slow down your racing mind. Writing helps you understand and process your thoughts.
Self-Care: Includes setting boundaries, breathing time, and engaging in activities that rejuvenate you. Self-Care isn't just about massages—it's about nurturing your well-being.
Remember, experiencing anxiety is part of being human. It's about having the tools to manage it and listening to what your body tells you.
If you want to know more about anxiety and how to manage it, I am currently working on a Free Workshop on how to manage Anxiety. This workshop will be free and available on my website. Once it's ready, I'll update the website with a link to the workshop here.
Getting More Tools to Deal with Anxiety as a Woman
If you feel like you're dealing with anxiety as a woman, or if you know someone who is, and you want to learn tools to manage it, you're not alone. Experiencing anxiety can feel very isolating, and many women believe they're not strong enough, that it's their fault, or that they can't handle these emotions. But you are not alone.
I offer a supportive space where we can work together to manage anxious thoughts and feelings. I am here to help you learn the necessary tools to navigate anxiety. If you need support, please reach out. You can visit my website and go to the contact page or email me at lucia@luciatherapy.com. I would be delighted to work with you.
Disclaimer: This podcast provides informative content and is not a substitute for professional therapy or mental health treatment. It is important to consult a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and support.