Emotional Codependency

Sad woman sitting along on the floor

Ever feel like your happiness is tied to someone else’s?

Like their emotions dictate your own? Or maybe you find yourself constantly putting others first, struggling with guilt when it’s time to prioritize yourself? If any of this sounds familiar, you might be navigating emotional codependency.

It’s a tough cycle that can feel so normal you don’t even realize the toll it takes on you. If you often worry about disappointing others, feel lost without external reassurance, or experience an emptiness when you’re alone, know this: you’re not alone. Many people struggle with emotional codependency, especially if they grew up in environments where love and validation felt conditional.

Young woman sitting with a coffee reading a book

What is Emotional Codependency?

Emotional codependency is when your sense of self-worth, validation, and emotional stability depend heavily on others. It can show up in different ways:

  • Feeling guilty for putting your own needs first

  • Constantly seeking reassurance before making decisions

  • Feeling responsible for fixing or saving others

  • Struggling to set and maintain personal boundaries

  • Having a deep fear of abandonment or rejection

And it’s not just about romantic relationships—these patterns can show up in friendships, family dynamics, and even at work. Many people caught in this cycle are drawn to emotionally unavailable or demanding individuals, reinforcing a pattern of seeking approval while neglecting their own needs.

Woman reflecting on her couch

How Does Emotional Codependency Develop?

If you grew up in a home where:

  • Love and approval were given only when you met certain expectations

  • Expressing your needs led to guilt or rejection

  • You felt responsible for a caregiver’s emotions

  • You had to keep the peace at all costs

Then, it makes sense why you might struggle to prioritise yourself now. These early experiences shape how we relate to others, making self-sacrifice feel like the only way to be loved.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Emotional Codependency

  • Low Self-Esteem:

    Feeling unworthy unless you’re needed

  • Fear of Abandonment:

    Avoiding conflict to keep people close

  • Difficulty Saying No:

    Feeling guilty or anxious when setting boundaries

  • Over-Functioning in Relationships:

    Taking responsibility for others’ emotions and problems

  • Chronic Anxiety & Stress:

    Constantly worrying about maintaining relationships

  • Loss of Self-Identity:

    Struggling to recognize your own needs, interests, or goals

Woman smiling and hugging herself

Breaking Free from Emotional Codependency

The good news? These patterns can be unlearned. Therapy can help you build healthier relationships—starting with the one you have with yourself. Here’s how using an integrative approach, we can work together to facilitate your healing journey.

  • Past relationships, especially childhood experiences, shape how we connect with others. If you learned that love must be "earned" through self-sacrifice, therapy can help you challenge this belief and create healthier connections.

  • If you’ve been conditioned to believe that prioritising yourself is selfish, this approach helps you replace guilt with self-acceptance. Learning to soothe yourself instead of seeking external validation builds emotional resilience.

  • Do you catch yourself thinking, "If I don’t make them happy, they’ll leave"? CBT helps you challenge these thoughts and replace them with healthier perspectives, shifting from external validation to internal self-worth.

  • When you’re focused on others, it’s easy to lose touch with your own emotions. Mindfulness and somatic therapy help you tune into your feelings, recognise emotional triggers, and develop a sense of safety within yourself.

  • Codependency often stems from childhood wounds. Inner child work allows you to nurture the younger version of yourself that learned to seek love through self-sacrifice. This process can be transformative in helping you reclaim your emotional independence.

  • Saying no doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you a healthy one. Therapy can help you practise setting boundaries, expressing your needs, and handling conflict in a way that honours both yourself and your relationships.

Reclaim Your Emotional Independence

If emotional codependency has shaped your life, know that change is possible. Through therapy, self-reflection, and intentional healing, you can build relationships where you feel valued for who you are—not just for what you do for others.

I’m here to support you on this journey. If you’re ready to take the first step, let’s work together to explore your experiences, develop tools for emotional independence, and create a life where you feel free, empowered, and authentically yourself.

Ready to Begin? Let’s talk. Book a session today and start your journey toward emotional freedom.

Free Resource: I also offer a free Three-Part Video Series on managing anxiety—be sure to check it out!

Want to Learn More About
Emotional Codependency?

Check out my blog, watch a video, or listen to my podcast Breaking Free from Codependency: Steps to Reclaim Your Independence where I dive deeper into emotional codependency and healing.

Live Your Life in Full Bloom!

I would be honoured to join you on your journey.  Let me help you find your way back to a sense of purpose and direction.